"Mmmm." Kenzo, too, took a sip of the sake letting the taste of it slide over his tongue. It seemed to warm him from the inside. "Mmm, that sounds rather like what I expected, actually. Very nice." His eyebrows went up. "Although actually, I didn't expect the bit about the competition. I should have, really; even in the Mirumoto there were some like that." He smiled. "Perhaps instead of friends, I should have been asking about rivals?"

He smiled again at her, his eyes warm. "Ah, that." Kenzo said. "That actually predates my Mirumoto training. Another story from my childhood." He took a sip from his sake.

He turned out towards the water, his gaze going up to the moon. "I mentioned how much time I spent exploring when I was young, when my mother was busy." As always, there was that hint of wistfulness in his eyes. "Hours I spent, almost every day, just in the area around our estate. Eventually I grew to know every path. I could walk them in my sleep."

He shrugged, his gaze still skyward. "And eventually I grew to know the animals, too. There were lots. Birds, squirrels, even wild goats. I don't remember a time when I wasn't watching them. I think my earliest memories are of watching goats... my mother was there with me... I remember..." He frowned, his gaze slowly lowering, until he was looking at the lake instead.

Sensing his change of mood, Utsusemi discreetly brushed her hand against his as she placed it beside his. "She must have enjoyed those moments too. Seeing her dear son marvel at the world around him, learning to name them all..." she mused, looking out to the lake as well. "There is something special in those little moments of our lives as parents. It's hard to explain, but I think I might understand a little of how she must have enjoyed that time."

She sipped from the cup once more before placing it down beside her, her stance shifting to look more at Kenzo. "... Do you wish to talk about what's on your mind?"

It was just a little touch, but it clearly made a different. His gaze, focused on the lake, went to her, flashing gratitude and more. He let his hand move just a little, warm against hers. Her words, too, made him take a deep breath, his expression clearing. "Thank you, Utsusemi." He said softly.

"Mmm." He turned towards her as well. "It's not much, really." He said. His gaze was downcast, but a smile was on his lips; as his gaze came back up, she could see it in his eyes as well. "I had a dream about her last night; I suppose you would call it another nightmare. At the time, it..." He chewed his lip a moment, "-affected me."

"But, in the light of day, it no longer troubles me. Old fears, regrets..." He shook his head. "Things are different, now." His smile on her brightened.

Utsusemi gave him a sympathetic look. "Our sleeping minds seem to be apt at playing with our fears and regrets," she murmured, looking down at their hands. "But you shouldn't regret anything, Kenzo. You must have been a good son who brought her many fond memories and much happines."

There was a quiet fondness in her smile as she looked back up into his eyes. "You are a good person, a kind man... and she is certainly proud of what a fine man her son has become."

Why did we both have bad dreams again? This is a strange coincidence...

"Sorry... I did not mean to make you sad. I just wanted to know more about how you became you..."

"Utsusemi..." He said softly. His face flushed lightly at her words. "Thank you. That means very much to hear you say that."

Gently, he shook his head. "No, don't apologize. You didn't make me sad. From time to time, her loss still pains me, but distantly. You made me think of a happy memory, in fact." He gave her a crooked smile.

He leaned just a little closer, his littlest finger lifting to wrap around hers; a small change, but perhaps a significant one. "And... you make me very happy, Utsusemi." He said, his voice soft. "That you want to know about me, that you care..." His gazed into her eyes, his own bright. "That you feel for me as I feel for you..." He trailed off.

Watching their pinkies interlock, it made her think on the pinkie-promises they both had probably made in their childhood, though her lips pressed into a thin line.

"I care for you, Kenzo... I know I shouldn't, but I can't help myself," her head tilted slightly towards him. "Being with you, I feel I can be more at ease... like I'm finding a new self I didn't know was in me. It's like..." Utsusemi exhaled softly, looking up at the starlit nighty sky above them, "it's like being a bird learning to take wing."

"But knowing I can never truly be with you like I want to is also one of my great sorrows." The other fingers brushed against his hand as she spoke, melancholy drifting into her tone. "Were it not for my children, maybe... maybe it could have turned out differently, but for their sake, I have to stay."

Kenzo looked at her fair profile for just a moment before following her gaze up into the sky. "I am not sure when things changed." He said, his voice soft. "When bringing you happiness went from something I would sometimes attempt, to being an ambition of mine. You should be a bird." He smiled. "I should love to see you soar."

He turned his gaze back to her. "I know." He said softly. "I would never, could never ask you to leave them. Times like this are all that we can have, and in the future they may become hard to find. And I certainly don't want to bring you unhappiness."

His smile grew charmingly crooked. "Perhaps it's the optimist in me, but knowing how you feel, that you want to be with me, even if we can't..." His smile grew softer, even as his gaze grew more intense, seeking hers. "I think knowing that will comfort me on many an otherwise lonely night." He hesitated just a moment. "I hope that my love can do the same for you." He said softly, simply.

"Mm, I know for certain it has already been a comfort for me," her head shifted to glance at him. "Your love is my strength... it was my strength these days when I thought Sanjuro might not make it... it is my strength when I think of how..." Utsusemi paused, not quite sure of how to phrase her thoughts.

"When I think of how I can be a better person. To not just merely exist, but to live." Her smile was contemplative. "It is different than how my children make me feel; I want to live and be the best I can be, for them. With you, and how your love makes me feel, I feel I can live for me."

Utsusemi's face flushed, her gaze dropping to her cup of sake. "It sounds selfish, I know..."

Kenzo grinned at her, flushed, exhilarated as he looked at her. "That's just how you make me feel, Utsu!" His tone matched his expression, a thrill at hearing how closely her feelings matched his own. "I'd never thought of myself as a hero, never really tried to be one, until it was what you needed me to be."

As her gaze dropped, he leaned just a little closer, his expression gone serious. "And so no, it doesn't sound selfish at all to me. It sounds entirely as it should be." He shook his head gently. For just a moment, he took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "When we give to each other, and both come out better for it, I don't think it can be selfish."

His words relieved her, and like she had just said, put her at ease. And with the reassurance of their joined hands, she looked up at him with a joyful smile. "You're right... of course," Utsusemi chuckled breathily, "you usually are when it comes to this kind of thing."

"Knowing I make you feel the same way, it makes me happy." Her hand held onto his tenderly. It can't be wrong if it feels so right, yes?

"At least while we're here, we can enjoy the time that has been given to us, neh? Like admiring this beautiful place together, talking about our days..."

Kenzo took a deep breath. "I'm glad, Utsusemi." As always, he lingered on each syllable when saying her full name, savoring it.

"Yes." Smiling, Kenzo turned back out towards the lake, her hand still held gently in his. After a moment, he looked back, his lips quirking. "Do you realize how thoroughly you've charmed, me, Utsu?" He said, his tone playful. "All this time we've spent here tonight, and I'd rather talk about you, and us, than about turtles." He shook his head, mock-sadly.

Utsusemi lifted a hand to her lips as she giggled in response.

"And here I was looking forward to hearing all about the turtles!" she sighed blissfully as she looked at him. "I like listening to how you talk about these animals. There's this enthusiasm in your voice, and light in your eyes when you do..."

Kenzo grinned, only a little sheepishly. "Is there? I'm glad that you like it, then, given how often I tend to do it."

He looked out at the water, his eyes narrowing. "Well, perhaps we shall be lucky enough to spot some. It's much easier during the day, and not just because we can see better; they like to sun themselves on rocks. But perhaps... ah!" He gestured excitedly at a nearby rock near the edge of the pond. The moonlight was bright enough that a small clump of turtles could be seen, not merely in silhouette, but with distinguishable features.

He glanced back at Utsu, smiling. "I wonder how long these turtles have been there. They can live for decades, you know? Half a century, or so it's been said." His lips twisted. "My legacy would have been in the ponds of the Kakita academy long after I'd left."

"Really? I didn't know that," she met his eyes, smiling as she saw that light in them she had spoken of, before looking back out at the turtles. "... It would have lived on in infamy for quite some time, all the way to the descendants of the turtles, I imagine... I don't see the garderners removing the animals once they were there, unless they would eat up the flowers?"

"Hmm. Probably not." Kenzo smiled, encouraged by her interest. "They mostly eat fish and the sort of plants we'd eat. I don't think... hmm." He frowned thoughtfully. "They might eat roots, though. That certainly would have landed me in trouble, if I'd introduced an animal that killed all the lotus plants, or a hundred year old bonsai, or something..."

He chuckled, shaking his head. He still gently held her hand, enjoying the shared touch. "Although, that does put in mind an incident from my college years..." His eyes glinted at her.

"Oho?" she chuckled and shot him a grin. "Why am I not surprised you were up to no good during your years of study, Kenzo? A scoundrel like you probably caused all sorts of headaches to the sensei, I imagine..."

Utsusemi mused at the idea of what this one incident was. "So what was this specific incident you had in mind?" she asked and emptied her cup of sake.

"Oh, a few, to be sure." He said, matching her grin. "Let us say, I often had different ideas on how to do things than my instructors did." He reached out, taking the sake bottle, and refilling Utsu's cup.

He took a deep sip of his own sake before setting it down, quite nearly empty. "Right. This specific incident. Hmmm. Well, it related to my interest in animals. As you know, I prefer to observe them in their natural habitat, but that's not always possible. A great deal of study in college involved examination of unliving specimens. Skeletons and the like." The smile faded, just a little, as the memory of that first nightmare came to him.

He went on. "Still, the natural studies department had just gotten a new specimen. A lemur skeleton, entirely complete! I knew it wouldn't be quite the same, but I'd never seen a lemur before. And so, I went into the room where it was kept, up on a tall shelf. I just wanted a look, so I reached up and tilted it to take a look..."

Kenzo shook his head ruefully. "Only, they weren't quite done pinning it. The middle was still separated. And so I got a much closer look, as the bones separated into the individual pieces, and fell right on my head." He shook his head again. "At least reassembling it myself was a learning experience..."

The story incited a soft, but earnest and sincere laugh from Utsusemi. "Oh... that must've taken quite a lot of time. Did you manage to assemble it without anyone finding out?" she asked as she refilled his cup in return.

Already she was feeling a little on the tipsy-side... no doubt from the wine she had had earlier, and while the coffee and sweets had sobered her a little, she still hadn't worked it out of her system. Then again, she had always been fairly light-weight with alcohol.

"I don't think I even know what a lemur is..."

"I did not." Kenzo said, smiling. "Not even for a moment. The instructor was bringing in the department head to see it. They didn't quite arrive in time to see me drop everything. Just to see me on my hands and knees, desperately trying to fit it back together." He shook his head again.

He took another sip of his sake. For his part, Kenzo was mostly growing pleasantly warm. Perhaps a little less inhibited. His thumb gently rubbed her palm as they spoke.

"Ah!" He said, brightening once again. "A lemur is a distant relative of our monkeys, or so it's been classified. But they have pointy narrow faces, and big eyes. Probably nocturnal. They live on a far away island; the skeleton we had was on loan." He winced. "It was a good thing I could get it reassembled." He sighed. "I'd love to see a live one someday. There's just so much out there..." Smiling, he looked out over the water.

"Sounds like a rather cute creature then," she chuckled, enjoying the sensation of his thumb against her palm with a fond expression. "Who knows, maybe we'll see it here? Perhaps there is some menagerie somewhere on the island..."

Utsusemi liked the thought of something like that, and almost hoped there might be such a place to see here with all sorts of exotic animals from different parts of the world.

"Your college days must have been very different from the Mirumoto training, no?"