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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:35 am 
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"Giving a little of oneself tends to come back," she nodded, smiling fondly as she too was thinking back on that day. Truth was that there were other reasons why she had been happy that day, but they were not the kinds she could share with him. The memory of Sanjuro's anger in her dream stopped her from even considering it.

"... I think I am happier? Maybe it's like what you said, that it was good for you to get out of his shadow - and it's been the same for me too, I feel." There was a distant look in her eyes as she spoke. "Strange how it is in a foreign land that I seem to find myself again, isn't it..."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:53 am 
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"In some way. Probably." He sighed when turning, so his expression eluded her. He hobbled to put away the painting and fetch her a chair. "You may be a little ahead of me in finding what you seek, but I try to find something too, to not look back. Still, I am happy for your happiness." He paused, leaning on the chair before returning with it. "I heard there is this idea to sail further east. I am considering it." He looked in her eyes. "There is this sentence from a Thranish book I no longer have: 'We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time'. Maybe that is my way. I wanted it to be by you, but life has had other designs."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 4:13 am 
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She wasn't quite sure what she herself was seeking, but she felt she might at least might be looking in the right direction these days.

Her hands instinctively smoothed out her kimono as she sat down in the offered chair, her gaze meeting his as she considered his words. "Life rarely goes the way we want," Utsu had to agree, at least. "Whether you go or not is your choice... but you will be missed. I, at least, will miss you. Others will too, I know."

She couldn't help herself from a brief, though saddened chuckle, looking away from him for a moment. "To think that all these years, I thought you didn't like me. You always seemed so gruff, so often frowning. Guess it took me a long time to understand..."

Looking back up, Utsu managed a bit more mirth in her expression. "Now whatever shall I do for my artistic supplies when you're gone?"



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 4:28 am 
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"A boy had to grow up to understand himself." He shrugged, tightening his lips wistfully. "Not my proudest confession. I can blame only myself." He sat on the bed. "If I decide to go, I will miss you too, and the children. But with how things are, maybe it's better that I am missed rather than I am an issue. I am not an idiot, Utsu. I mean I have been, but I think you get my meaning." He looked toward the window. "I'd leave you with enough supplies to last for a time. Is there something you need made now?"



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 4:38 am 
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Her smile tightened a little. When it finally felt like they were mending what was broken... but knowing he felt the way he did, perhaps he needed that distance. It was the least she could do for him, to let him go. "If you go, at least promise you will come home, hm? To experience where you started as if for the first time, like you said."

"Ah..." her expression turned a little more sheepish now, and she raised her hand to rub her neck in a poor effort to hide her embarrassement. "Yes... had an accident yesterday, and... well, my painting supplies are ruined. I'm doing what I can to salvage the brushes, but the paint is lost. Lost the surgical knives too from my medical kit."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:02 am 
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"I count on returning a better man, Utsu. Worthier. And maybe enough time will have passed for a new beginning." He looked up at her again, with a glimmer of distant hope. "It's a smith's reasoning. Good steel comes from the fires of the forge. Once I will have crossed oceans and deserts, then..."

He broke off and inhaled deeply.

"Give me a few days, I'll get you both things."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:14 am 
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"Thank you," she exhaled with some relief as she bowed her head. "... Let me know what I owe you in return for it, Sanjuro."

With that matter out of the way, she could relax a little. "As for your return... I look forward to what sort of man you might have grown to be then. Not that you need to become better than you are, but like I am slowly learning these days, perhaps you will come to find more about yourself that you can appriciate and love."

Utsusemi shook her head. "Though I guess that is how we become better? I admit, I was never much for philosophy or contemplation."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 10:42 pm 
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"I don't know if more self-love is what I need." He chuckled a little, unsure what to make of her answer. Sometimes her Doji predilections were making him confused. "Don't kid, please. You owe me nothing. You and I work better when there is no oath and just some goodwill. This way we can avoid some pitfalls. We've had some honest words, not much else can be said, just some kindness shared. I am fine with making myself useful to you. You have this temple issue on your head, right? I can help you with planning it out and building it once you know where you want it It's through this practical things I can express myself to you. I am neither smooth nor cheerful and optimistic nor incredibly polite. My forays into artistic expression have been incredibly misplaced. And you still don't hear half of my swearing. It really comes down to the ideas I can have and things I can make." He shrugged, frowning, then pointing to the frown with a finger in an act of sudden self-awareness.



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 10:55 pm 
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Just as her Doji predilections made him confused, some parts of him were a mystery to her, like it often were with Dragons. But it seemed like this is where they were now, and in a way, perhaps it was for the better this way. Strange how it was even more confusing for her to figure out her own feelings about him after his confession before... especially after Kenzo's confession as well.

In the end, it was complicated. All of it.

"'Tis true, you are neither of those things," she agreed with a soft sigh, giving him an encouraging smile, "but you are kind and caring. It's more than many others are, and it's part of who you are." She did have to keep herself from laughing when he pointed to his own frown.

"I appriciate what help you can offer... it's quite the project, after all, and everyone else seems more concerned with running around and doing everything else, than to complete this task. Not that I can blame them; there is much to see and experience." She wasn't entirely without guilt there herself. "Kenzo-san and I will continue to scout out the island for a good location, and I will let you know what we've found. But... won't this interfere with your work here?"



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 5:39 pm 
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He briefly raised his brows at the compliment, but said nothing. It was easier to talk about the other things.

"You know, I don't quite grasp the concept of free time. Nothing good has ever happened to me when I was having it. So yes, make me busy, Utsu, once you have a rough idea what you're doing with that temple of yours."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:40 pm 
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His words elicited a small chuckle from her.

"Very well. Though I will be keeping an eye on you, making sure you're not pushing yourself too hard." There was only the smallest hint of concern in her smile.

"As for work... we both have that ahead of us. I should probably let you return to yours?"



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:57 pm 
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He nodded, looking briefly at her, then away.

"That is probably for the better. It was good to see you again."

He kept his sentences simple in order to actually not let deeper emotions to surface. Affection and longing were bad to show, he had learned. But this wouldn't be Sanjuro without his evergreen.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:30 pm 
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"It was good to see you too, Sanjuro," she admitted with a kind tone.

Rising from the chair, she too a few moments to straighten her attire back in proper order. Gaijin furniture and Rokugani clothing wasn't the best match. "Still in need of breakfast in the mornings? I think I could get the hang of it, with all this practice..."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 4:58 pm 
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"If it's no trouble. I like what you make."

He shrugged, rising as well.



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 5:27 pm 
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She had a hard time telling if he was just saying it to be nice, or if he really wasn't such a picky eater, but she appriciated it nonetheless. At least he didn't seem to need help to get around anymore, like he had the last time she saw him.

"Yosh," Utsusemi managed a small grin. "I shall have to keep working hard then. We'll need to keep up our energy in the coming days."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 5:52 pm 
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"Yosh." He repeated after her, her sounding like him drawing a small smile. "I need to fully recover."



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:06 pm 
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She suspected he would manage to recover just fine without her meddling, but... well, for Utsusemi it was these little gestures she felt she could allow herself to show that she cared, hopefully without giving too many conflicting messages for him, as well as giving him the space he needed.

Perhaps it really would be good for him to put some more distance between himself and home. Maybe meet someone else that he could love. She knew she would pray for that to happen at least - the Fortunes had given her mixed blessings, but hopefully they would be kinder to someone like him.

"Will you manage walking downstairs?" she gave the crutch a curious glance.



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:20 pm 
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"Yosh. I'll accompany you." He nodded, grabbing the crutch. "It's my pegleg pirate experience." He said deadpan.



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:24 pm 
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"Pegleg... pirate...?" Her eyes widened a little, before she pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter, the other arm wrapping over her stomach.

"If neko-sama begins to perch on your shoulder like a bird..." she laughed quietly once more, but certainly with a lot more life to the gesture than she had shown in a long time.



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 Post subject: Re: Forging Ahead? (D8, EA)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:28 pm 
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"Then I'll make it learn coarse pirate shoutouts no such parrot could be respected without." Sanjuro was good at this deadpan thing, just arching a brow as they proceeded to the stairway.



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