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 Post subject: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:02 am 
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This would be her last day on the island. She needed to find Mahasin and thank her for all she'd done for her. She also needed to try and find peace.

She sat silent in the area meant for prayer, gazing up at the stained glass windows, lost in thought. They were beautiful, a contrast to the soiled soul that sat surrounded by them. She was a blasphemer. Pursuing the dark wisdom of the Book of the Dead and delving into its secrets had undoubtedly granted power... but without what it was meant for, it was pointless. Crimes layered on top of one another, and for what?

She had known - known - that it was a foolish endeavor, deep down, but her obsession hadn't let her see it. Even if it hadn't been better to let him go and return to the wheel of reincarnation by itself, would he have really wanted to return? The cost in death, in suffering... he'd had Shinjo's compassion, more than she ever had. He would never have accepted it. And what would she have told everyone, anyway? It was destined to failure, even if it hadn't been such an evil thing.

It was an evil thing. The way she'd fought Hawthorne, the way she had brought Wataru around - poor Wataru, what effects would her foolishness have on him? - had drawn on the darkest shades of the Seal without delving into human sacrifice. And now she bore the dark wisdom of the Book of the Dead with her. She knew the Ritual of the Hidden Heart. She knew how to make it permanent. She suspected she truly could return someone from death with enough time and preparation and the right sacrifice. Every ounce of that knowledge made her feel stained with something that would never come off.

The sorcerers of Laramun, their enemy Chephren, whose heart now lay in her possession; this was a tool of their enemies. Would her Clan forgive her, if they found out? Would Shinjo forgive her? Could she forgive herself?

She didn't know.



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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 7:04 pm 
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Image

Mahasin had been around, but seeing how Ruqqayah was going through something spiritually profound she didn't readily disturb her and remained at the sidelines, preparing the mosque for the night.



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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 8:57 pm 
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She took in a long breath, trying to find some peace with it. She'd move forward and try to be better from now on. The Unicorn were people of action. Whatever forgiveness there might be for what she had done would be gained that way. She had fallen off her spiritual horse. It was time to get back up on it and learn from her fall, rather than just lie on the ground thinking about how painful it was.

She had to take Bashiri's place in her family, and rebuild her life without him, and help her parents do the same. She let out that breath, feeling a genuine, if small sense of peace settle over her.

It would be okay.

She spotted movement out of the corner of her eye and rose, wiping the tears she'd gathered with her sleeve as she did. "Mahasin... I'm sorry for coming here so later. I hope I haven't interrupted."



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"Promising Theologian"
Unicorn Clan • Sahir • Heiress • Researcher • Foreign Heritage • Gaijin Name • Ex-Twin • Filled With Determination
Honor: Untrustworthy - Glory: 2.2 - Status: 4.0
Carries/Owns: Wakizashi, Tanto, Musket, Fan
Speaks: Rokugani, Mekhem, Yobanjin, Merenaese, Ujik-hai, Senpet
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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 11:35 pm 
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"The Goddess does not abandon us for the night, lella." Mahasin smiled. "You can stay as long as you need."



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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 11:57 pm 
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She smiled a little. "I can't stay too long... I need to go pack." She looked around. "I thought, since there are a couple of ships going that way anyway, it was time to go home."



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Unicorn Clan • Sahir • Heiress • Researcher • Foreign Heritage • Gaijin Name • Ex-Twin • Filled With Determination
Honor: Untrustworthy - Glory: 2.2 - Status: 4.0
Carries/Owns: Wakizashi, Tanto, Musket, Fan
Speaks: Rokugani, Mekhem, Yobanjin, Merenaese, Ujik-hai, Senpet
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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:07 am 
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"Good decision, my dear. And it spares me Grand Mufti's wrath." She chuckled. "Would it be too much to ask why this radical change of your outlooks?"



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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:33 am 
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"He can get as mad as he wants as long as he keeps it to the sole party responsible here," she replied with a touch of affectionate grumpiness toward her distant father. She lets out a soft sigh. "I've made so many mistakes this year... I have a lot to make up for, both to him and Mother."



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"Promising Theologian"
Unicorn Clan • Sahir • Heiress • Researcher • Foreign Heritage • Gaijin Name • Ex-Twin • Filled With Determination
Honor: Untrustworthy - Glory: 2.2 - Status: 4.0
Carries/Owns: Wakizashi, Tanto, Musket, Fan
Speaks: Rokugani, Mekhem, Yobanjin, Merenaese, Ujik-hai, Senpet
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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 5:57 pm 
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"I think the most he wishes is just to have you back, lella. He lost his elder brother, then son. Losing his last child might be too much even for a man of his stature and resolve." Mahasin empathised.



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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 8:10 pm 
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Her words seemed to only make her more sad,
but Mahasin couldn't have known why. Still, she nodded. "Yes..." She paused to wipe her eye. "Anyway, I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me these past weeks."



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"Promising Theologian"
Unicorn Clan • Sahir • Heiress • Researcher • Foreign Heritage • Gaijin Name • Ex-Twin • Filled With Determination
Honor: Untrustworthy - Glory: 2.2 - Status: 4.0
Carries/Owns: Wakizashi, Tanto, Musket, Fan
Speaks: Rokugani, Mekhem, Yobanjin, Merenaese, Ujik-hai, Senpet
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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 8:40 pm 
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Mahasin approached to give the girl an honest hug. "It's alright, dear. If I were not the vessel of the Goddess' Compassion, who would?"



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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:04 am 
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She hugs back closely. "I hope I can do the same when the time comes." She pulled back and then looked back to the windows. "Is there anything someone might do that you would consider unforgivable?"



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"Promising Theologian"
Unicorn Clan • Sahir • Heiress • Researcher • Foreign Heritage • Gaijin Name • Ex-Twin • Filled With Determination
Honor: Untrustworthy - Glory: 2.2 - Status: 4.0
Carries/Owns: Wakizashi, Tanto, Musket, Fan
Speaks: Rokugani, Mekhem, Yobanjin, Merenaese, Ujik-hai, Senpet
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 Post subject: Re: Contemplation [LE 13]
PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 2:12 am 
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"Shinjo gave us laws. Have you broken any of them, dear?"



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